Learning to say you're sorry. Painful, yet poignant.

Well, I learned another valuable life lesson today.  One that has been told to me often enough.  Think carefully before you speak.  Or in today's society, think carefully before you post on FB, tweet, text and so on.  I've never been good at this.

I posted a political cartoon today that did, in all honesty, amuse me.  I took it simply at face value.  A cartoon.  Not really real, with a smidgen of truth, however discombobulated the truth was presented in it.  Upon a lively discussion on one page and offending a good friend on my own page, I removed it off mine because a very convincing argument on the deeper level was offensive to many of my friends.

Luckily, my friend is a true friend and forgave me because, 1) I asked 2) I apologized sincerely and 3) friends can disagree without malice, anger or finger pointing and love each other despite their differences. 

No one wants to be wrong, no one enjoys that.  As I have grown as a person and as a Christian, God has often PAINFULLY molded me into being the kind of person who can say a sincere apology and truly be at peace with being wrong.  I feel convicted when I have done something that can be construed as hateful, demeaning etc.  Even if the original intent was not that at all.

I'm not going to turn this into a political post by any means, but I feel as if I should say that my political views should in no way hinder my relationships with people I love and care about.  And since the last time I checked, I am still a human, my greater purpose is to love those around me.  The ones I don't agree with, the ones I don't like, the ones who don't like me (this one is hard for me). 

"If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?" Matthew 5: 46

I am called to love everyone.  Not just those who love me or think just like me.  But everyone. 

I'm feel I am so often like the pharisees, being so literal in the law, that I forget about Grace, Mercy, Love, Compassion.  And I don't want that for myself.  I don't want it for my children.  The best I can do is admit when I have done something wrong or offensive, apologize and move on.  That is a model I can handle being for my children.  Love isn't always happy, sunshine and fun.  It's often being wrong, perhaps even a little hateful in our desire to be right, but then learning how to apologize for the hurt, the anger, the downright wrongness we have the capability of bestowing on one another.  And I hope with all my heart that anytime my children see me react in haste, hurt, or anger in a prideful, wounding way to another, that they also see me convicted of my wrongness, and see me offer sincere apologies to the person I have wronged.  Not just in words, but also in action.

I want to be seen as someone who loves everyone as Christ did.  Not just in  the words that I say, but in the life that I lead.  And IT is possible to disagree with someone without fear or anger. 

So today I ask you: Are you beliefs lining up with your actions? 

It's a struggle.  But I promise to encourage you.  So please, encourage me.  And for pity's sake, just know I am going to have to apologize to YOU at some point too. 

Thanks for being forgiving!

Quiet on the blog front!

Hi all.  I am so sorry I have been so quiet.  Just a lot of busy bee stuff, and  nothing major. 

Ava had an opthamology appointment today and we will now be patching her eye for 2 hours a day and we go back to the opthamologist in April.  Levi also goes back to see his Kidney specialist in April.  Big month at Yale Medical Center by the Perry's. 

Since we have been so busy and crazy and whatever-adjective-you'd-like-to-include-here few weeks.  I thought I'd break it down "Top 10 style"

10) I had knee surgery.  Yay! Boo!

9)  Because of # 10, I got to see my Grandma and Grandpa for a week!  Hooray me!

8)  Snow.  Too much for me.  This girl is OVER winter.

7)  Big date night with the main squeeze.  It had been too long.

6)  The news that one of my BFF's is moving to the east coast in August!  Yay!  #lettheplanningbegin!

5)  New haircut and color.  I look marvelous if I do say so myself!!

4)  Paid off some debt.  WHOOP!

3)  Started the process to go back to school.  Must CLEP some credits.  Pray for me.

2)  Started a new bible study called "Believing God" by Beth Moore with some ladies at church.  So far, so awesome.

1)  In 34 days my sweet, tiny, crazy, hectic, chaotic, lovely, precious twinkles will be 5.  How did that happen?  I swear the thought is keeping me up at night!  5!  No way.

So that is just a snap shot into the life and times of an Inshockmom lately. 

I've missed journaling/blogging/thinking out loud here. 

Stay tuned.  April is bound to be good!