Joining the circus

I am so done.   Done.  Done. Done.  My kids are driving me  nuts.  The crying.  The whining.  The attitude.  And of course, Jason will be gone for the weekend at Men's retreat.  And all I want to do is run away and be left alone. 

I want to be left alone.  Now is really not the time for people to tell me I will miss this.  One day, yes, I am sure I will miss this age, this era of my life.  But I won't miss THIS day. 

I'm totally worn down today.  I think I'll just go to bed. 

Le Sigh. 

Love without end

I know I say this all the time.  But, I feel like I can NOT say  it enough. 

HEY WORLD!  I have the most amazing friends and family...EVER! 

It's true, no need to fight it. 

We have our share of dysfunction.  We occasionally do weird and/or annoying things.  Sometimes we disappoint each other.  In the end though, I know that my family and friends have my back.  And isn't that what our life is really about?  Loving people.  When we show love to people, we let our "God"ness shine through.  We need to remember that we need to show love to our enemies too.  Slightly harder that is...

I include random road rage in the enemy category.  LOL!!  But you know, as a whole, I think we often time treat total strangers better than we treat our families.  Sad, but true.  And I am oh so guilty of this.  Snapping "what?"  at my kids when they have said MOOOOOO-OOOOOO-OOOOOM! for the billionth time that day or rolling my eyes when my "really-is-too-good-to-be-true" husband starts telling me something about his solar bike car...again. 

I have it good, ladies and gentleman, I have it real good. 

My church's mission statement is :

"In a City, Loving a City, Impacting a city for Jesus"

Let's start our goal at home: In a family, loving a family, impacting a family for Jesus.  And then do it for our neighborhood, our kids school, our city,  our country, our world.  God math people.  He can use us in ways we could never imagine.  Never. 

I know some of you aren't Christ Followers and that's ok, one of these days I'm gonna say something that makes you think, "I wonder if Trisha is right"  That's all it takes.  God will do the rest my friends. 

I'm trying super hard to live a life that doesn't give anyone pause to say "She's a hypocrite"  I've said it before and I know I will say it again...being a Christian doesn't make me better, it makes me washed clean of my sins...which I happen to do everyday in one way or another.  I mean, aside from being human, My name is also Trisha, Hi, have you met me?  LOL. 

The good news is that God loves me.  He sees me as I SHOULD be, not as I AM.  He always sees my potential.  He knows my heart. 

This reminds me of an old George Strait song "A love without End Amen"

"Last night I dreamed I died and stood outside those pearly gates.
When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake.
If they know half the things I've done, they'll never let me in.
And then somewhere from the other side I heard these words again.

And he said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love,
A secret that my daddy said was just between us."
He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then.
It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."


His fatherly love is PERFECT.  Never changing, never failing.  Aren't we thrilled about that??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UFJWPk00x8

Money money money MONEY...

I am singing that song in my head right now, NO I don't know who wrote it or even sang it, but it's in my head none-the-less. 

This post is going to be about money a little bit. 

First thing, I started selling Scentsy and I am loving it.  A little nervous that I won't be able to sustain the sales goals I have set out for myself, but I will try and try and try.  I love Scentsy and think it is the PERFECT way to keep a house full of smelly kids smelling great without having to worry about burns.  And Elijah DID stick his finger in the melted wax.  He said "oh it's...NOT hot."  LOL.  I just like that I can earn some fun money for my family.  So get ready for my shameless plug:

If you would like to host a scentsy party or a Scentsy basket party (for my out of town friends) I would appreciate your support!!  My website is https://trishperry.scentsy.us/  Please contact me if you are interested!!

Now moving on in the money theme...

We're walking in the San Diego March of Dimes "March for Babies" fundraising walk on April 28th.  If you live in San Diego and want to walk, please sign up on the link below.  For ANYONE and hopefully, EVERYONE I know, will also check out the site and donate to Team Ava's Angel and Friends. 

http://www.marchforbabies.org/s_team_page.asp?si=64DB007B-E659-4187-9ED6-B6521ED3FE37&SeID=1838717&prefill

We originally started as Team Ava's Angel, however, we changed it.  In my family alone in the span of 4 years, 4 babies went to heaven due to premature birth.  We walk to honor Sophia, Evan, Ella, and Maggie.  We celebrate the life of Ava and many other babies.  Please, help us raise funding for Preterm birth research, medical research and family support programs for the families of preterm babies.  Your donation could be part of stopping preterm birth and helping families like mine!!  So, give Team Ava's Angel and Friends your support!  And thank you!!


I really have no other thing I want to solicit your money for....LOL.  I will just pre thank you all for your support.  Cause I have something that money CAN NOT buy.  And that is really awesome friends and family.  I love you guys!!

I love San Diego!!

This weekend has been gorgeous so far!!  I love it. 

Last night I had a Scentsy Party at my house.  My first as a consultant.  It went awesome.  I have truly great friends and neighbors.  I got 6 bookings.  Wow,  I am still shocked.  I think that selling Scentsy is going to be a fun way for me to 1)get some time out of the house and 2) Make some fun money for us to use as a family!!   So, if you need Scentsy, I'm your girl!  Please?  LOL!!

But last night really reminded me of all the great people I know here in San Diego.  I absolutely love the circle of friends I have made here.  And I realized in 4 short months I will be leaving behind my friends of these last 4 years.  Thank God for Facebook!!  I wish I could pack you all up and take you with me.  I also just realized, we will be moving exactly 4 years to the date of when we arrived:  7/16/08- 7/16/12

I'm not ready to leave my super fantastic church either.  I love Newbreak.  I love what they stand for: "In a City, Loving a City, Impacting a City for Jesus" and I love how they do life by example and I super love Mike and Teresa Quinn, the Children's ministry, particularly Shelly Schrimpf and Coleen Bevan.  Just to name a few.  There are genuinely too many awesome people to name off in this blog post. 

So I have to Carpe Diem EVERY day of the next 4 months.  I need to soak up the sun and the friendships and fun times.  Soak up all the knowledge Pastor Mike and staff teach me each Sunday morning.  I tell myself this is temporary and I will be back. 

I need to believe that!!  Because I absolutely LOVE Sunny San Diego!!

Get rid of the shame.

It was an absolutely beautiful day here today.  We went to La Jolla Shores and just had fun.  Jason surfed for a little bit.  The kids ran in and out of the freezing cold water.  It was just a great day.  Came home, made tortellini for dinner.  Showered, the kids got to watch a movie in bed to relax because they were so good today! 

We're still in our "Knights and Fair Maidens" sermon series at church.  And as usual Pastor Mike rocked it!  I'll admit, I can still be kind of like a 12 year old when sex is mentioned in such a setting.  Like I don't know what it is...the urge to wiggle in my seat and go "la la la I can't hear you."  But luckily, Pastor Mike took care of that in the beginning.  Nothing like saying "God loves sex" out loud with all your other church goers to get the awkwardness gone.  LOL!!

The biblical concept of sex is awesome.  I think as a society, we are really doing our kids a disservice with what our tv shows, songs, etc are teaching them.  Sex is a beautiful gift.  It's not a prize, it's not a method of controlling someone, it's not something with which we should earn some one's affection...

I know what it's like to think sex makes you lovable.  It doesn't.  Sex is NOT love.  And sex outside the confines of the committed relationship always hurts someone.  Always.  And I don't even mean the physical issues.  Emotionally, someone will be hurt.  Even if they don't figure it out for years. 

I know I don't want my children to grow up thinking that sex is bad or shameful.  I also don't want them growing up think sex is a free for all.  I pray that my children don't feel that their self worth is in anyway connected to having sex.  Whether it be that they can "get lots of it" or not or whether lots of people want to have it with them or not.  I want them to know that the giving of your body is a gift.  A gift you share in love and I pray that it's something they do inside the confines of marriage. 

I have friends that waited until they were married and they have (as a general rule) much better sex lives.  They don't have all that baggage that comes with sex with other people.  As with all things in life, I pray that my kids make better choices than me all around.  Most particularly in this instance. 

Which brings me to my next thought.  We were singing a song in church today and a verse hit me so hard and then the Pastor stopped and read it out loud as well.  It is as follows:

"Let no one caught in sin remain inside the lie of inward shame."  Christ is Risen by Matt Maher.

And this my friends, hits me in the most powerful way.  How much time do we spend living in the shame of our sins?  Our mistakes?  Our bad choices?  As a Christ follower, I get to experience the power of God's grace.  Now, for me, LETTING myself experience is my problem.  I most certainly believe that God is able and willing to forgive me.  But I have to give myself permission to experience it.  I have a tendency to live "inside the lie of inward shame."   And I am here to say it is A LIE.  A lie from the enemy of my soul. 

I am forgivable.  I am lovable.  I am worthy. 

That nasty little voice in your head...it's not God.  God  loves us and even in his anger over our sin, our brokenness, he forgives.  He loves.  He's absolutely our biggest fan.  He wants us to succeed in spite of ourselves.  So the next time you feel that shame or regret of something in your past, just remember that if you asked for God's forgiveness, it's as if your slate is white as fresh fallen snow.  We won't forget it, but it no longer has any hold on us. 

Your sin, your brokenness, it's your testimony.  We don't have to be proud of our history, but God wants us to use it to show others that he is BIG.  God is GREAT.  He can and will forgive us if we just ask.  And he is telling us, that we're free. Free from the consequence of our sins (death) and free from the shame.  Jesus came and died for us, so that we could be free!  What will you do today with the freedom that the blood of the innocent one bought you? 

For me, today, just today I am going to tell the shame to take a hike.  And then I'll try and do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next...and so on and so forth.   One thing is for certain, being a Christian doesn't make me better.  It doesn't make my life easier.  I struggle with the same things everyone else does.  I just hope that someone, somewhere will see me and the life I try and live, and realize that God loves them in the midst of their mess.  Not just when they have their life "together." 

Join me in my messiness.  If he loves me (and he does!!) he will certainly love you!!

Merry-Go-Round

Life is like a merry-go-round.  Sometimes fun, sometimes scary, sometimes white-knuckle-gripping and sometimes straight up sickening.  I think this week has had them all.  And I am spent. 

Psalm 55:22 is my confirmation verse.  I picked out when I was 12 years old...it was definitely a God thing that I happened to pick it.  Here it is:

"Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."  Now I put here in the King James Version because that is how I learned it, but here it is in The Message translation: "Pile your troubles on God's shoulders-he'll carry your load, he'll help you out. He'll never let good people topple into ruin."

I have been a-piling on God's shoulders this week.  Well, this LIFE.  I'm tired.  Mentally, physically and even spiritually at times.  And I am tired of BEING tired.   I've been assured by my Aunt Stacey that this phase of parenting does, indeed, end.  Even though it feels like it will last FOREVER!!

I love my kids.  But I have to figure out a way to recharge or I am doing them, my husband, and myself a disservice.  But how do I do it?  I don't even know what would recharge me.  I always have to be a "go."  No sick days, no sleeping in, no "I don't feel like its."  No making plans without placing their needs and schedules above my own.  So even getting some alone time scheduled is a chore.  And with our tight budget, no excess money either. 

I think I am just stressed.  So much going on.  Jason leaves in April for an 8 week school, then comes back to Cali, where we pack up our house again.  And then start our cross country adventure.  Both exciting and stressful.             

I'm just praying I get off the Merry Go Round and recharged before it all starts. 

New England Bound!

Hello world.  Did you think I forgot about my blog?  I didn't.  Just been busy and tired,and so have chosen bed over computer.  LOL. 

Couple of new things in our lives.
1) We are moving to Groton, Connecticut in July. 
2) We bought a new vehicle
3) I miss Beckah and since she's been extended, I won't get to see her before we move.  :biguglycry:

Let's talk Connecticut.  I'm not even sure I am spelling it right, but spell check will take care of it.  I am excited and sad all at the same time.  Sad to be leaving behind my amazing friends in San Diego.  Sad to be leaving my church, Newbreak.  Sad to be leaving this glorious weather. 

Excited to be 1 hour and 18 minutes (according to mapquest) from Mike, Alicia and Jacob Perry.  And within actual driving distance of the rest of the Perry Clan.  Excited and nervous to find a new home, schools for the kids, and finding my way around a new place.  Sams?  Costco?  No?  I think it's BJ's there!  LOL.  Just lots of new things to discover and Oh, yes, I WILL be eating at Mystic pizza.  If Mystic Pizza means nothing to you, google it and you're too young.  HAHAHA.  I love that my kids are going to be closer to their cousins and have the opportunity to "grow up" with them!!

We'll be driving cross country in late June/early July.  In my mind, we'll drive up the 15 N, check out the Porsche Factory (you ARE welcome Jason), hit Vegas and hang with the very FABULOUS Natalie, Shenay and Kahea Clans.  Mosey from there to???  Stop in Missouri for the 4th of July, hit some friends in Indiana and Ohio...We'll see how it actually works out though.

And speaking of driving, we'll be doing it in our new 2011 Nissan Pathfinder.  It's the first new car I have ever owned...and if I am being honest, I miss my Expedition.  I just LOVED the space it gave us with all of our car seats, BUT the gas money we'll save sure will be nice.  And I love having a car under warranty and the nice bells and whistles I got in the trade.  The Pathfinder is very nice and I know once I adjust to a smaller vehicle I will totally love it.  I have fancy gadgetry up front and a nice rear back up camera. 

Moving on to item number three...I am so bummed I will not be at Beckah's homecoming.  This was going to be the one I actually remembered to take the camera to...LOL!!  Maybe I should just move with her beautiful big screen TV and kayak, so I can hold them hostage and she must come see me ASAP (after she gets to port in the good old US of A)  Anyway, in my mind Beckah will get the orders to Connecticut that she wants and I really want!!

Oh, Life.  It happens.  Sometimes slowly and sometimes at the speed of light.   I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings.

OH and for the record.  I spelled Connecticut properly!  Maybe I can be a New Englander...