Bread and Butter

I  attempted making homemade bread.  The recipe was easy.  The bread, well, it was edible.  But man it was dense.  And yes, I used yeast.  3 packets per the recipe instructions...I had delusions of grandeur that my bread would come out looking picture perfect and taste divine.  Hahaha.  I refuse to give up, I will find a recipe that works.  Bread is expensive here, almost $4 a loaf and if my whole family eats a sandwhich for lunch, the loaf is totally gone.  I'd love to be able to make a few loaves a week.  So I continue my bread quest...my butter, well, I'll keep buying it from the store.   

Speaking of bread and butter...Let's take a moment to reflect on all of the things we have in our lives.  Our money (aka Bread and butter) has allowed us to do a lot of fun things.  We have fun stuff...but today I quit "letting my money" do fun things for me or even do the basic things for me.  Money when you come down to it, is just paper.  It's not inherently good or evil.  It just is.  It's inannimate.  And yet it controls us all...if we let it.  I refuse to let it anymore.  I control my money, not my money controls me.  It's not as black and white as that, but things are a-changing around here.

Our church is doing a 90 day Challenge in regards to tithing (which is giving 10 % of your gross income to God-in our case the church.) Now I see some of you rolling your eyes or snorting "it figures" BUT WAIT!!  Seriously, I was floored by what I am about to say.  Our church is doing the challenge with a money back guarantee...if we don't see a profound change or are unconvinced of God's faithfulness to bless us for our obedience to his word, the church will give us back 100% of the amount we tithed in that 90 day period.  WOW!  They told us that at the VERY end of the service after Jase and I had decided to go all in...I was stunned.  My mouth actually fell open.  I've been to lots of churches, listened to lots of tithing services and this is a first for me.  I want to share the verse that sealed the deal for me.  Malachi 3:10:

  "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

It was a revelation to me today.  I will test God in this. I think we always feel like we can't question God, or he'll smite us where we stand, but that's not the case. Our God is about Grace, not all doom and punishment.   In this instance God is "pre" giving his permission for me to test him and then he follows it with a promise.  And I will see his blessing pour down.  For I serve a faithful God, one who keeps his promises.  After all, that's his bread and butter. 

Jibber Jabber

The last few days have been busy and yet,  I look around and think "what on earth did I do???"

Ava's birthday was a success.  She felt very loved.  We're in the midst of a Polly Pocket Paradise these days.  I, personally, would like to meet the maker of Polly Pocket and smack them a few times.  WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?  Oh, Little girls LOVE these things and yet, they can't change their clothes without help from me, who does not want to play Polly Pockets.  "But mom, it's haaaaaarrrrrrrrrrd to change their clothes."  Well, as I am the one that does it...I know this is a true statement.  I will admit though, that it is exceptionally cute to watch the girls play with Polly and friends...although Ava is still convinced the boy Polly Pocket is a girl.  lol.

Today, I had a girls day out.  I went to see "One for the Money"  Now for those of you who know my reading habits, I LOVE me some Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum novels.  All 18.  If I had never read the books, I would totally have labeled this movie a must see and excellent.  But as I have read all 18 books, the characters and places are all very well alive in my mind.  So there was some adjusting to the casting.  Ranger worked.  Very well.  MEEEEEOOOW.  Grandma Mazur was good, Lula was AWESOME.  Sherri Sheperd totally "got" Lula.  Katherine Heigl did a really good job as Stephanie, but I really need to let it grow on me some more.  I think that Morelli could grow on me IF they do another one.  He was a likable character, but needed to smile more...Stephanie's mom wasn't quite right, her dad was pretty good, Connie was ok (she didn't have much screen time) Vinnie they did well with...Benito, not so much.  Now keep in mind this is all just my opinion, but all in all I thought they did a good job.  I think Jason will really like it and I'll let you know after I force him to watch it on DVD. 

Came home from the movies and Jase looked quite frazzled.  I asked him if he was ok and he said "yeah, but it was rough, I was home with all 4 kids you know."  I laughed...inwardly and outwardly.  welcome to MY world dear.  Welcome to my world.  Speaking of my world, have you seen my kids lately?  They're stinking adorable! 

Just when I think the last remaining piece of sanity is going to *poof* out of my body, someone gives me a big hug or a beautiful "light-up-the-world" smile.  And I remind myself, the chaos is temporary, the love is forever. 

I'm a very lucky girl. 

Today is her birthday

By the time I post this, it will be the 26th on the east coast.  LOL.  I'm doing my sweet baby's birthday post now, cause tomorrow we will be partying!  Like we're 6. 

As I reflect on the last 6 years, I realize, I don't really remember before then...what exactly did I do before I had kids?  That's a whole other post though.

So, my sweet Baby Ava Keilani will be 6 years old at 6:10 am CST.  Now, most of you know, she was due May 5th and came January 26th.  A little eager to take on this world.  She was small and MIGHTY!  She came via emergency c-section as her placenta had ruptured.  She was born 7 minutes after they called the OR time (I was still awake for that)  She weighed in at a whopping 1 lb 11 ozs and 13.5 inches.  She is my personal miracle.  After 3 months in the NICU, she came home and it was scary and awesome all at once! 

We have had plenty of scares including her neurosurgery at 15 months... but she's really amazing.  She is 100% caught up to her age group, bright, loving and so sweet natured.  There are just so many things to love about her.  She's such a nurturer.  The biggest helper with Levi and the twins.  Tonight as I was tucking her into bed, I said "Ava, this is the last night you will ever go to bed as a 5 year old.  How awesome is that?"  Her reply:  "Mom- are you gonna cry?"  LOL. 

I love my baby girl.  Everyday she makes me smile.  Every. Single. Day. 

So tell me, what's your favorite thing about Ava?

Mommy's unite!!

Many Many MANY musings in my head today.  Not all of them will make sense, some of them may not even make it to my blog.  I need to be better about writing down blog ideas, because I think of about 20 million a day.  So we'll kind of start from there...

I SO SUCK at preserving my kids memories.  I mean, FB probably has most of them, but I need to write it somewhere and stick it in a book.  Ava is the only one that has ANYTHING resembling a baby book.  And it's just up to one year.

I just had a whole other paragraph typed that I somehow highlighted and deleted....so I'll paraphrase:  Kids school schedule travel sucks.  The end.

There is a blog I read with a post I think EVERY parent, moms especially, should read.  Here is the link: http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/  Seriously, take the time to read this and then tell me you don't agree with this mom...it was like she was in my head.  And she's funny! 

I was thinking today and yesterday about how moms are to each other.  In this, the hardest job in the entire world, we are the most judgemental.  Why is that?  I am certainly not saying that we should turn blind eyes to parents who may be harming their children, but judging them for feeding their kids fast food, or letting them play outside without shoes on, is totally trifling.  (YAY-I used trifling twice in 2 days!) Anyway, my point is whether you are mainstream or crunchy or otherwise labeled as a parent, I think in most cases it is safe to assume that we all do what we think is best for our children and our families. 

I just remember after I lost Sophia being really slapped with the reality that people at the grocery store,or gas station, Walmart etc had no idea I just cremated my firstborn child.  It's not like I wore a sign relating my current situation.  I try to remind myself of this truth every time I want to judge someone.  The reality is they could just be a real jerk or they could be going through something really life changing...having a bad day etc. 

I just wish that more of us were willing to say to the lady who's snapped at her kid in the check out line "I feel your pain.  Been there.  Done that.  Survived."  Sometimes motherhood can be such an isolating experience.  Cause even though you know that all kids have the occasional tantrum, it's hard to hold on to that fact when 10 people in the express lane are staring at you with body language shouting to you that if you were a better mother you could control that brat...HAHAHA.  They either forgot what it was like to have a small child or they have never had kids...

Ok, be HONEST, how many of you ever uttered the phrase "My kids will never do that!" before you had kids???  Anyone???  I actually didn't because I was sooooo certain I would have little hellions.  Much to my relief, as wild as they can be, they are genuinely good kids...But I will admit, I see older kids do things and instantly pray "Dear Lord, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let my kids do that!" 

We're all raising our kids in a fallen world and that means we have to help them navigate some really scary things.  So remember this: Find another couple with kids ahead of yours and use their experience to navigate some of your scary parenting "firsts."  We will all go through it at some point. And then you can be there for the next set of parents...Oh and do what I do, tell your oldest:  "I apologize that you were my firstborn because that means you're my guinea pig, I'll mess up more on you than any other.  Thanks for being a good sport. Love you."

Ava thinks it's funny when I say that now...I'll just wait and see what she thinks at 16...don't worry, I'll blog about it! 

Where the heart is...

I love Sundays.  I love my church. (YAY Newbreak!)   I feel so renewed after each Sunday service.  I wish I was better at keeping that fired up feeling longer.  Today we talked about tithing and offerings and generosity. We tithe.  Not quite to that 10% mark yet and we try to make offerings above that, but sometimes it's hard. This week, Jase and I will be doing some scoping around on our spending habits.  We've been discussing redoing our budget and possibly redoing FPU (Financial Peace University) for a while now.  Today's service was so timely.  It really is true, where your treasure is there will your heart be...

So where is your heart?  That seems like it would be an easy question to answer, but, for me, it's hard.  I'm still kind of wondering.  I can come up with a few things my checkbook will show me: Food, kids and then random things.  DO I need food?  Of course, but maybe I shouldn't love it so much.  I love my kids with every breath I take, every single breath, but in the end, I have to remember they are on loan to me from God.  And he always provide for his children.  They are his creations, and if you ask this proud mama, the cutest and the brightest.  :-) I just try to remember that I am raising them to become independent adults who know they have the ability to change the world, one person at a time.  And I believe they will!!

 Moving on to random things.  OH MY GOSH!  When did Jason and I go from having a few pieces of furniture and hand me downs to this chaos that is now in my house?  We have too much stuff simply put.  I need desperately to par down on all of our stuff,  Craigslist, Goodwill, friends...I have stuff that I am positive other people can and will use.  That just collects dust in my house.  Now the hard part for me is trying to find the time to go through my plethora (oh plethora- you're my favorite word) of excess.  And if I am being honest, I need to really REALLY let go of some things.  I feel so connected to some stuff that it is just silly.  And yet, I do. 

Plus all the chaos makes me crazy, so maybe less is really MORE, more organization, more serenity...Cause deep down in my soul, I crave organization.  I do.  Probably sounds dorky, but oh, I feel so fabulous when everything has a home of it's own.  I was organized...prekids.  LOL. 

Which leads me to when my kids grow up.  My house will be organized, but man, I'll miss the noise.  I'm so torn on my kids growing up.  Each stage is bittersweet, cause one has to end for the next to begin...And I love seeing how my kids bloom and grow.  But I do miss the sweet cuddle time they used to hand out so freely and I know it will get less and less as they grow.  I am so excited to see who they become...my prayer is that they reach out with both hands and grab every opportunity that God allows them.  I pray that they have a grateful heart and a generous soul.    Cause our hearts effect everyone we meet and our soul, well, it's what we keep. 

Rain Rain go away

It rained here today.  Mostly all day.  We played in the puddles.  The end. 

Super spoiled

Ok, so I might be a walking, talking sleep bomb waiting to go off, but MAN, I am spoiled.  It was tiring day and there was lots of whining.  Sounds divine, right?  Attempted a nap, but that was a no go...my kids just love me too much. HA!  Levi was napping, feel like I should clarify that.  Anywho, the spoiling goes to the fact that I have awesome friends.  I'm blessed.

Thank you so much Chantel, for coming to MY house and cutting all of our hair in the comfort of our own home.  The fact that you continually do this for me is beyond amazing.  It really makes me feel special and loved.  Thank you thank you thank you!!!

I could go on and on and on about my friends.  There is one I can count on NO matter what (you know who you are), friends that have no choice at all cause they're my sisters (EVIL LAUGH HERE)  my oldie but goodie Bethie.  Another friend that constantly puts up with my crazy when she already has enough of her own (even though for now, she does it alone)  I have funny friends, serious friends (few and far between-have you met me?)  But the thing is, I have really, awesome, great friends. 

And it saddens me to know that there are people who feel like they don't have any friends.  NOOOO!  That just won't do!  So I want YOU (ye of awesome friend-hood-ness) to take an extra minute this weekend and next week, to smile and say hi to that shy person at church, the lady behind you at the grocery store, the mom at the store who has a tantruming toddler, the surly teen that looks like they could care less...cause I am telling you-they crave human connections.  A nice word and a smile can move mountains y'all. 

I don't know about you guys, but I'd kind of like to be responsible for making someones day.  Toni and I used to call it "make a person feel good day."  And if we all agree to do it, there is no telling how many lives we could touch in small and significant ways. 

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13

So let's go make people feel good!  Go Team Happy! 

It's all good!

So.  My morning started at 6 am, not really that early in the scheme of things, but oh how I did NOT sleep last night.  Up every hour.  It was fabulous!  For the record, my kids all slept all through the night. By 0628 Ava, Levi and I are downstairs watching Food Network.  Don't judge me.  LOL!  It was a blown sugar spectacular!  Anywho, I digress.  By 0645, Tessa and Elijah are downstairs with their own special brand of special morning whine.  Sweeeeeeeeeeet-ah.  Not so much.  Out of the house by 0710, picked up Peyton and dropped Ava and Peyton off to kindy.  Tess and Elijah off to preschool.  My life is glamorous.

Today was a half day at Ava's school and they sell ice cream as a fundraiser.  By the end of it all, I ended up with some nasty bubble gum ice cream, Elijah had Tessa's and Tessa had mine.  It was sad.  But an ultimate example of mommy hood.  I cheerfully gave Tessa my ice cream and inwardly I was throwing a tantrum "BUT THAT WAS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE."    If you care, I tossed the horrid blue bubblegum stuff.  NO way was that actual ice cream.  EEEEEW.

Hung out with my awesome buddy Cassondra this afternoon, she's been out of town waaaaaaaay too long.  And Cheyenne (her daughter) brought my poor, traumatized, "Ihaveholesinallofmyjeans" Ava a bunch of new (to us!) jeans (no holes!) and some cool shirts.  It's so nice to have friends just ahead of us with kids, so we can get good hand me downs.  I can't wait until we're in a place to do that...hopefully we can keep some clothes from holes and stains. 

And an ultimate highlight of my day.  My neighbor, who for now shall remain anonymous (just in case this would embarrass her) came over and she said some very nice things to me.  One, she said that she loved reading my Facebook posts, because I inspired her!  (All this time and I find out people really do read my random statuses LOL, they are more to make me feel sane than anything.) And then she asked me "You know how sometimes you just meet someone in life and you want to be like them?"  And I said yes, cause a few women came to mind immediately.  But then she said "I want to be like you."  I was floored.  Really?  I didn't know that there would ever be a day that I would be someone that someone else wanted to be like...I'm just so ordinary.  I wake up tired in the morning, lose my temper at least once with my kids on a fairly regular basis and come off meaner than I want, I make dinner and breakfast, sometimes lunch, I clean, do dishes, laundry BLAH BLAH BLAH.  Yet somehow, somewhere in the midst of all my chaos, someone sees me as someone to aspire to...Wow.  It's the ultimate compliment.

It made me realize that people see us, really see us.  And we have the ability to brighten or darken someones day based on our attitude and core personality.  And people can love us and admire us, even in the midst of our mess.   Powerful stuff.  Makes me want to be  more aware on a daily basis of my actions. 

Let me ask you, what will you do today to inspire someone?  

Tissues required

I get a text message this morning from Jase saying he has to be at work at 0645 tomorrow for the Chiefs Exam.  I immediately started praying that he does well on the test (he's passed every time!) and that he gets selected this year, of course, we won't know if he's been selected until August. 

But as I was praying, I was saying to myself and God, of course, that I would just hate for Jase to be disappointed again.  He made E6 in 5 years and has made board (passed the Chiefs exam and got to "go" before the Chief board) every year since  2008.  But he hasn't been picked up for Chief yet.  And every year, I am just so certain that he will.  He lives, eats and breathes Navy.  He totally swallowed the Kool Aid, if you will.  And  each year, he is disappointed and I am so sad for him.  Well, into  my head pops this truth :  I don't want to be disappointed in God...Again...or maybe it's still.

I have never in my life been more sure of God's existence than I was when I had Ava and Sophia. I mean, they were perfectly formed and that was with them being out waaaay too soon.  I prayed so hard and believed so surely that Ava AND Sophia would both make it, and if I'm finally honest with MYSELF, I'm still struggling with being disappointed in God and his plan.  As I type this, I struggle with the pain and the tears that fall and also with that weird world view that surely God will strike me dead upon me admitting that I truly hate that part of my life (hence hating his plan) and that I am for some reason unable to be mad or sad or disappointed in  God. 

But even as I struggle with this daily, I realize that God is actually thrilled, yes, I said thrilled, that I feel this way.  Why?  Because that is part of a relationship.  Anger, sadness, disappointment are all parts of a relationship along with love, joy, peace etc.  We just get so good at pretending we never feel that way towards God.  Why do we do this?  Because God is perfect?  We know he is, but that doesn't preclude us from feeling bummed with him at times.  Is it because we live in a fallen world?  For sure.  But what else keeps us from being real with God in our hearts?  Our heads know he "knows" so maybe our hearts feel like there is no need to admit it. 

I think in order to heal, to release our self from bitterness, or addiction or whatever it is that you might be harboring in your heart, deep in your heart, we have to tell God.  Be honest, feel what you feel. Cry out to God.  If that means throwing a tantrum while you reveal your hidden heart to God, do it.  And when you wind down, he'll be waiting to hug away your hurt, pain, anger, humiliation.  He'll be there to give us the Peace that passes understanding.  Because he's our Father and he loves us.  He will never fail us. 

What I refer to as my "Life" verse is Jeremiah 29: 11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you."

I feel like I have been harmed.  It HURT that God's plan included Sophia's death.  On earth, it is certainly never something I will understand.  I can try and rationalize it, but the plain truth is that no matter how much I try to understand WHY my baby's death would be part of God's plan, I never will.  But some days, I feel that God means he won't harm Sophia when I read that part of the verse.  That he was bringing her home and saving her from further harm.  Because certainly she is prosperous where she is, she's already home with her Abba. 

Grief is such a wild beast,  it's like a never ending roller coaster.  Some days everything is dormant and life is good.  I'm truly happy.  And the next day, it's slaps me in the face.  The first year, I had to learn that it was appropriate for me to feel happy in spite of my loss.  That I could find joy and laughter with Jason and Ava, instead of guilt.  As if Sophia would want me walking around being that person so caught up in guilt and grief that I could never fully be available to anyone else.  I chose not to live that way, but there are days, I teeter awfully close to that abyss. 

I'm not really sure why I needed to write this but I HAD to...I hope that if you take anything away from this, it's that God is real. And he really wants to be a part of your mess.  He loves you for who you ARE.  Right now, right this minute, right this second. 

Will I be disappointed again?  Most assuredly.  God didn't tell us that there might be troubles, but that there WOULD be troubles.  Expect them.  They're coming full steam ahead around the bend. 
I pray that when the do, you cry out to God like King David:

Dear God,
I am distraught!  My kids are whiny,they (and I) don't sleep, my bank account won't budget, I've argued with my husband, I've lost a child, I can not seem to discipline myself with food or exercise, the list goes on and on! (fill in the blank here for yourself.) Even your child, David, whom you showed great favor, has cried out to you this way!  "For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me." (Psalm 40:12) I need you God.  I can not save myself.  This world can not save me.  "Turn, LORD, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love." (Psalm 6:4) I can not focus past my own pain, shame and ineptitude.  Lord, I cry out to you for redemption.  "my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, LORD, every day; I spread out my hands to you." Psalm 88:9
And then remember this:
.
"Though he (God) brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love." Lamentations 3:32

I pray that we can all endure our grief to see his compassion, remember that while " weeping may last through the night,  joy comes with the morning."  (psalms 30:5)

Thanks for taking this journey with me today.  I agape you!

I'm a sniffer.

Say what?

 Why is it that I can not say "no" when someone asks me to sniff  this?  Lately, much to my eternal thankfulness, the scents have been delightful. 

First up,  my neighbors' car.   It's a sweet car.  A beautiful Challenger that still looks showroom new.  Hey, Christina and Lenny- you're famous on my little blog.  LOL  At any rate, there is an Armour All car freshner that smells like a sexy man.  Meeee-ow!!  And of course, by that,  I mean it smells like Jason. :winkwink:

The second smell was really a smorgasboard of smelling.  A scentsy party.  Oh the scents.  I smelled a couple that made want to gag.  EEEW.  How does Scentsy sell those??  Of course, there were many that smelled very nice, so I consider that an overall good sniff experience. 

This next scent experience is a tad embarrassing to admit, but if you're honest with  yourself, you know you do it!!  I picked up an article of clothing off Elijah's floor and sniffed it.  I was happy to smell that it was clean.  LOL.  Cause a "dirty" clothes sniff is always a downer and a tad bit disgusting.  Makes me want to immediately wash my face and spray out my nose when it's a bad sniff. 

A general sniffing no-no should always be milk.  I strongly suggest NEVER inhaling a DEEP scent of soured milk.  If it's soured, no need for the extra sniff to be sure.  Trust your nose on this one.  

I do the "Diaper sniff" these days...still.  In the last 6 years, I have been diaper sniff free for only 3 months.  Between potty training the twins and Levi's birth...and to be honest, I think that made having a new baby in diapers that much harder. 

And today Levi's diaper was FOUL.  Making me wonder where the saxy man car fresher can be found...

Sooooooo, what's your scent?  

If I don't get it this time, I may have to quit for a minute.

Please work.  Please work.  :fingerscrossed:

Test two

LOL.  I so am not.  I'm fixed, remember?  And so is the hubster. 

Test two.

Just testing something

I'm pregnant.


LOL.  No I AM NOT.  Just my funny test!!

The Transfer...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Wild weekend

Ok, so the title is way fancier than my reality. But my weekend was nice. Dinner with some friends and a rousing game of Apples to Apples. Yesterday, we went to Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond, Walmart...Woo, that's excitement right there folks. Ran in to an incedibly grumpy old man at Home Depot. We kind of take up an aisle when we're out en masse. But instead of saying excuse me, he says "watch out kids and get out of the way." GRRR. Mama bear calm it down. I just said to my kids, please move over here so that man can get by....well, the home depot worker walks up and asks him if he needs help and OH BOY! It reminded of another quite simple truth:

You choose each and every day how you WILL be when your older.

I say choose to be happy. Age is no excuse for rudeness, hear what I am saying?

Today I apparently became a nester. Way past that time, but I never did "nest" during my pregnancies. Oh how I wish I would have blogged during my pregnancies. I have a lot more sass then. A LOT. And my dreams....oh how fun they are...

I actually did post some of them to my Twin mom's message board, and I am going to put them here! I hope you enjoy!
Dream 1:6/15/11
I dreamt that I had to have a c-section and that they got the spinal in on the first go round, but then I wouldn't go numb...so all the Dr's and nurses left me ALONE in the operating room...and I was in labor...so I delivered the baby by myself and then just as the baby came out the DR's came and took the baby and the one was all congrats it's a boy and they showed me him and I was all "oh he looks like elijah, same cheeks etc" and then the baby smiled at me and said "I am Elijah"

Dream 2: 2/24/11
Seriously, I'll be straight up before this pregnancy is over.

I had a dream that I was at the hospital, completely HUGELy pregnant (so that was good) and I was attempting a VBAC and the nurse was very hateful and said I wasn't progressing fast enough, so she was going to give me pitocin. I put up a stink and told her no because I was a VBAC, she huffed out and said she's getting the DR, so she comes back in all smug and says she's going to give it to me.

I told her I was refusing the meds and not to touch me. Jason had to jump over the bed to keep her from giving it to me in my IV and then I went running down the hall crying for my OB...and they were all chasing after me...

Dream 3: 7/17/11 This was the last I remember from before Levi was born:
This has been a recurring dream and I pray that it does NOT actually happen this way...

I've been dreaming that my water breaks in the middle of church.

And I get up to walk out and Pastor Mike stops me to pray for me....which in theory would be cool, but I would DIE of embarassment if my water broke at church and someone else had to clean it up...

I'm thinking I should start carrying resolve and a towel in the car...

Luckily, my water did NOT break at church. It broke at the hospital. I thought I wet myself. LOL. Well, thanks for following me on a short and bizarre trip down memory lane. This is my post partum nesting and nostalgia.

Maybe tomorrow's blog will stay in the present. Until then, happy nesting!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Bliggety Bloggety Boo!

Nope, it didn't work. Yesterday's blog post did NOT write itself.

Busy, mundane day yesterday. There was some grocery shopping, whining, dish shopping (will I EVER find a set I like??) some more whining, and a visit to Toys R Us. No, that was not in response to aforementioned whining. We went to get Ava's birthday present. I might tell you what we got her, but you have to pinky promise not to tell her.

Speaking of Ava. My baby is going to be 6 in less than 2 weeks. WHAT?!?! How on earth did those 6 years zoom by? I will tell you the truth as I know it, write this down cause it's a great truth in the world, most especially for parents:

"The days drag by, but the years fly!"

One day you'll be reading my blog and I'll be crying about an empty nest. Oh, but right now, I sometimes (ok-almost always) daydream about sending them off to college. Without a credit card. And the ability to only call me without whining and asking for more money. LOL.

Today has been an interesting day so far. Ava had another meltdown (she's been having a lot) and it was over a fork y'all. Yes, I said a fork. You know the thing with a handle and some tines at the end? Helps you stab food and put it in your mouth? Yep. That. She apparently needed a silver fork like her brother had, but her dad had given her a blue one. Oh the drama. After some "contemplation" time in her room, she decided to apologize to her dad...and then she had to face the mom. Oh the horrrrrrrror!! I made her clean the baseboards in the downstairs bathroom. Yes, YOU may call me Mommy Dearest. HAHAHAHA, insert maniacal laugh here. But on a plus side, my base boards are clean and I didn't have to do it. Oh yeah!

We're going to attempt to clean out some stuff today, but my husband is already in research mode, so now he has one project that he is going to focus on all day...and perhaps we won't get as much done as I'd like. At least he's honest...he always tells me that he "can't multi task, he can only task." And it is true.

Maybe I can just "Bippety Boppity Boo" and my house will clean and organize itself.

Nope, it didn't work.


Oh, for all of you that pinky swore: It's a Polly Pocket Cruise ship. SWEET!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sleepless in San Diego!

Sleepless in San Diego! No it's not a cheesy romantic comedy, but sometimes it comes close. Definetly a SITCOM in the making at my house. Last night was a miserable night of sleep (or should I say sleeplessness???) I fell asleep at 11, up at 1115 with the main man (Levi) back to bed at 1230 am, up again at 1248 am, YES I looked at the alarm clock. I was feeling very confused. Tessa climbs into bed. Wiggles all over the place. Settles on the "Sideways sleep" and proceeds to kick me ad nauseum. Hello 0145. Ava screaming wakes me, I run out the door and stub my foot on a toy. I don't know which one or it would be dead to me. Dead, you hear? It was metal and it jammed between my pinkie toe and the door frame. Awesome sauce! Get Ava situated and back down...UM...NOPE! Back up at 0215 with Ava. So in order to preserve SOME sleep, I take Ava and her toys and make her a bed on the floor next to my bed. After that I was up randomly throughout the night as Tessa the sleeping circus act perfected her high kicks and spins. Hello 6 am. Time to get up everyone.

It was crazy hair day at Ava's school, soooo there was some arguing about how exactly her hair needed to be crazy. Geesh. The drama of an almost 6 year old girl.

Aside from sleep deprevation, it was a pretty good day. My kids tell me some pretty hilarious things everyday. EVERYDAY. Elijah told me out of the blue that sometimes he dumps a lot of food out of his butt. Good to know, eh? As I still wipe his butt, I know that this is indeed a true statement of fact. Levi pooped out of his pants and onto Jason's jeans while we were running errands today. Hilarious...because it wasn't me! Tessa had a major meltdown over ice cream and everyone in the US of A was staring at me like I was a horrible mean mother. I just smiled.

Anybody want to hear more of our "orders trauma?" We're technically still on the chopping block for Korea, but the detailer thinks it will be denied. Then possibly, DC or SC. I'm game for whatever, I just need to know. I don't like living in Limbo.

At any rate, it's time to pare down our belongings. We hold on to too much stuff. Not "Hoarders: Buried Alive" or anything like that, but stuff we don't use.

I keep hearing "you've got mail" in my head. Guess that's what I get for titleing this "Sleepless in San Diego" HAHAHA. Maybe someone should email me a love letter. Ahem, Jason J Perry.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!! Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!!

My bed is calling to me. Goodnight friends. Happy sleeping!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

It's a Goose Egg!

I have a goose egg on my head. It hurts badly. I was holding Levi and Tessa on my lap and we were on our hanging porch swing when the wood snapped from the top. The beam smacked me on my head, HARD, then got Levi and then Tessa. I cried. Mainly cause I was worried about the kids, but it also hurt. Bad. I was channeling my inner Abbey Meers. Concussed unite. It hurts still today. But the bruise and goose egg are under my hair at least.

I want to share a bible verse today, it's popped up twice on my bible/devotion apps within 2 days, so...I hear ya God! James 1:22 "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves."

Ouch. Seriously. I am a great hearer of the word. I am so inspired every sunday at Church. I have a great church by the way. I'll give a shout out to Newbreak and Pastor Mike Quinn! The rest of the staff there is equally awesome!! But I digress.

I don't know about you, but sometimes the "doing" is hard. It's hard and I don't want to...You know that lady that cuts you off in traffic, she makes me "forget" to love others like God loves me. I could go on and on and on about people that make me want to lose my religion. You know who I'm talking about...Usually what happens right after I judge that person, is the thought "but Trish, you do it too!"

That's a twisted knife in the heart sometimes. Sometimes, it makes me laugh. Depends on the day. I'd like to make it my goal this year, but mainly, this DAY, THIS HOUR, THIS MINUTE, to be a doer of God's word. Cause I can do that. I can do it this minute.

So when Elijah asks me for the 5 billionth time to day for one more last cookie, instead of being frustrated and snapping at him. I'm going to calmly say no and then hug him when he starts to cry. And when Tessa drops to the ground for her 12th tantrum of the day, I'll ask her if she needs a hug instead of a spanking. The doing here would be patience and love...I need more of the fruits of the spirit....but we'll talk about those a different day!!

Speaking of discipline (I said spanking-follow along people!) I am trying super hard to discipline without emotions. It's ok for me to be angry or annoyed etc. Feelings are feelings, feel what you must. BUT I am working to not discipline in an emotional state. Any suggestions?

This is a really rambly day, not much cohesion here, Welcome to my brain. LOL.

I'm going to start posting recipes too, as that was requested. Where should I start? Desserts? Dinners? What?

I'm watching the news and it's DISGUSTING. EW. Well, I need to go clean out my car. I already cleaned the kitchen. Yes, it's perfectly acceptable for you to tell me I did a good job. Appreciation is always welcome. Why is that we stop telling adults that they do a good job? Thought to ponder.

I'll leave you for now, as I have bored myself. Catch you on the flip side, but my hair won't be brushed, cause I have a sore Goose egg...didn't I tell you?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Some 'splaining to do.

I thought maybe I should explain my blog title. If anyone cares. *winkwink* Ok, so when I first got pregnant with Ava and Sophia, I found a website: Twins Magazine Message Board (herein referred to as TMMB) I joined a BMT (birth month thread) We all needed a user name and every combination of Trisha and Jason were taken, and in my seriously shocked brain, the username Inshockmom was born. It turned out to be doubly appropriate when 2 years later I was told I was having twins again. What are the odds? By the way, I was fully prepared to have twins again, so I was actually shocked when Levi was a singleton.

Moving onto the next part:

rev·e·la·tion: something revealed or disclosed, especially a striking disclosure, as of something not before realized.

rev·o·lu·tion: a radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, especially one made suddenly and often accompanied by violence. *Like becoming a parent. LOL!

re·pro·duc·tion: the natural process among organisms by which new individuals are generated and the species perpetuated.

Or, my personal favorite from Urban dictionary.com:

Reproduction:

1. when two beings come together to make a smaller, louder, and more annoying being that will eventually grow up to do the same thing -perpetuating a disgusting and neverending cycle of filth. 2. something ugly people should never find out about.

Seriously, tell me you aren't laughing!

As I sit here trying to type this, 3 of my smaller, louder and more annoying beings are, well, being louder and more annoying! Elijah desperately must get his socks on now! Right NOW! Oh and he needs apple juice stat! Tessa is freaking out cause Rio needs to be on the DVD player like yesterday. Levi is chatting, happily, at full volume. "Look, ma, see what I can do!" And my sweet Ava is at school.

My older, more annoying being is home today! Yay, but he's outside and on the phone with housing. Our tot lot (aka playground) next to our house is being redone, and they apparently, unleashed a bee's nest. Bee's EVERYWHERE! Buzz off, eh?

More apple juice. More apple juice. Mooooooooooooooom, I need Rio on. Mommy said! Mommy said!!! I just know I have more ramblings. But it will have to wait until later. My mini reprodutions call.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Dipping my toes in...

So. Hi. Hey there. It's time. I'm going to do this blog thing and I'm going to be good at it. Maybe. In 2012, I'm going to make the time to journal, blog, whine, vent, laugh, celebrate and any other thing I can think of here. I don't really have anything specific to speak of today. So I'll ramble a bit.

I'm 98% certain I do a decent job at parenting. But it's tough. These little people that run around my house, interupt my sleep and, for some inexplicable reason, occupy my space in the bathroom, depend on me. Trish as their mom today, WHO as their therapist tomorrow?

I can't do a perfect job, but I pray about it a lot. Because I can't do any of it without God. I'm just his hands here, an imperfect pair at that, but he is the perfect parent. I figure if I remember that, my kids might turn out to be real people after all.

Speaking of God, I forewarn you all that I will be posting a lot about my spiritual journey this year. Love it, Like it or Loathe it. It's my quest to sound out my beliefs this year. It's hard and scary. Because I'm a sinner. I fail in so many ways everyday. My past is part of me, some I'm proud of, some I'm not. It's hard to make permanent changes when people you know and love can point out how you used to be...and to be honest, I'm just me. My personality is the same, I am just trying to make a better me. And I can only do that by faith. But I'll have questions, statements and randomness.

And then, you'll hear me talk about marriage, missing my sisters(and you too Jesse), being sick, being tired, exercising (yep, I'm on a mission) Anyway, I hope you'll join me. Encourage me. Question me. Support me. Love me.

Holla back y'all.

I "fixed" my domain name

My domain name was misspelled.  I had to redo my blog to get it right....Now I work on merging the two accounts.  Bear with me.