Do you ever have one of those days where you think to yourself :"Gee, I totally blew that!" ????
I do. And it seems lately I have been having more of them. I'm sure we could sit down and explore what has been going on in my life to find many reasons why that might be, but that would really just end up being an excuse. A good one perhaps, but still.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a wife. I desperately want to be a good one. And it seems that I fail at it more often than not. I snap at my husband when I'm tired. I rarely give him my full attention and even when I don't mean to, I give him the feeling that I don't care about the things he cares about. Is it a crazy cycle? Yes. Does he do it to me as well? Sure. We're human and it happens. But I want to be more deliberate in my actions as a wife. I don't want to take Jason for granted. He honors me in a way no one has before him. I could go on and on about what makes him a great husband, terrific father and fantastic friend, but I might just save that for later.
Love and Respect. Powerful words made more powerful by action. For most women, loving comes naturally. It is built into the core of our being, to give it and to receive it. We're nurturers as God and nature intended us to be. That doesn't take away from or diminish our other abilities in anyway. Ever heard of the Amazons? We can be powerful warriors, corporate leaders, stay at home moms, teachers, professional athletes etc. All of these things are amazing and we are capable of so much, but today I say why do we focus so much on that instead of our amazing ability to love?
And men, they are built with a core need for respect and to respect. That one can be hard for me. What is respect? The definition is as follows:
Noun
| A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. |
|
|
Verb
Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Let's take a look at what admire means:
Verb
- Regard (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval.
- Look at with pleasure
Oh, man. It's a VERB! That means I have to DO IT, not just think it. I have to act it out! And that is where the disconnect lies for me. I do think that my husband is awesome. He works hard for us, he takes time out for us and he enjoys being with us. I know this by the way he acts every single day. It's always in my head and yet, for as awesome as Jason is, he can not read my mind. I need to be better about encouraging Jason, saying to him what I think. That can be weird for me because I feel like Jason should know because of my acts of service. Making dinner, cleaning the house etc That is how I show love, because that is how I receive it. But Jason, he shows love by words of affirmation because that's how he receives it. Learning each others love languages is crucial. What makes your husband feel loved and respected? What makes you feel loved and respected?
I have found that while women need love and men need respect, that they are often so intertwined with each other that you get both! I find it amazing that as a nation, we have such a huge industry that revolves around marriage. And the best thing I can say is that God tells us the key in Ephesians 5: 33 " However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Say what? God commands men to love their wives because they need it. And women to respect their husbands because they need it. I'm thankful we live in a society that does have people who care and are willing to help us figure out how to do that when we can't seem to help ourselves.
So I guess the question I have been asking myself is how can I respect my husband in a way he can receive it? I'll be thinking about that and trying to act out my love for Jason in respectful ways!
Care to join me? Let's start a respect revolution.
A wise man once said: "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave." - Martin Luther
|
|
|
|
