Diversity

I haven't been very active here, have I? 

 I didn't really have anything to talk about.  Maybe I have the back to school blues.  Maybe I have the "oh no winter is going to come" depression, or maybe, I just haven't been moved to write. 

I think a million times about blogs to write.  I wish when I had the thoughts I could drop everything and hop to my computer and write my brilliant words.  Haha.  But often they come and go. 

Today, I've been thinking a lot about how we separate ourselves.  Labels.  Brainy.  Popular.  Beautiful.  Ugly.  Mean.  Naive.  White.  Black.  Good.  Bad.  Friendly.  Lutheran.  Baptist. 

Not all labels are bad.  But it seems to me that labels have really limited us. Do we label ourselves?  Do we let others label us?  We do.  But what difference does it make what I think on labels?  Not much, except how I can help reach out and help someone regardless of their label or my own.  The only label you should accept and wear is the one God gives you.  And I guarantee you, he thinks you're lovely.  He thinks you are enough.  He thinks you have unlimited potential with Him by your side.  He doesn't just think this, He knows it.

Jesus speaks to us in the bible about diversity.  I strongly suggest reading 1 Corinthians 12 in it's entirety.  But for the purpose of this blog, I'll only be sharing parts. 

The words of God share this point more eloquently than I ever could. (1 Cor 12:12-14 and 24b-31)

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.  For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many....(vs 24 b)But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.  If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.  Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

That is a label I can live with..."Hi, I'm Trisha and I am a part of the body of Christ. " I like how that sounds. 

I've been a student of the bible since before I can remember, mainly because I had to...I had to at church, I had to at school, but I felt imprisoned by a moral code I couldn't live up to.  I was told either verbally or by action that I failed, that I couldn't be good.  My life as a checklist Christian was miserable.  Go to church, check.  Pray before eating, check.  Memorize bible verses, check.  And when I failed, no one pointed out mercy to me.  In truth, maybe someone tried, I was probably already starting my rebellion period.  Which if I am honest, I still rebel at times.  What did it take to get me back to a real stance, a real relationship with God?

The death of my daughter.  I was pissed.  I was hurt.  I felt like I was being punished.  I felt like my whole life was crumbling.  And boy did I let it rip at God.  I said things to him that should send me straight to hell, and should have in the instant I said them. 

But do you know what he did?  He held me while I raged, He held me while I cried, He held me when I didn't have the strength to hold myself up.  Because He loves me.  Because His way is peaceful beyond any worldly understanding.  He did not say to me that I don't know what I am talking about, He didn't tell me that there is a procedure to follow, He didn't tell me that I was bad or hateful or wrong.   And He could have.  But He chooses to bring us to him by love.  Yes, love has discipline and consequences.  I've had both.  But it isn't shaming.  It isn't hurtful.  Painful, maybe.  But it is painful to realize we have done wrong, that we have hurt others.  It is painful (for me anyway) to admit when I am wrong.  It's painful to be vulnerable and ask others for forgiveness when we confess our sins against them. 

I didn't really see the blog going this way today, but apparently He had other plans.  I am not saying that we should accept things that are not the truth, not all paths lead to God, everyone isn't right, but what I am saying is we are set apart by the LOVE of God, so let that be what I show the world.  His Love. 

Today, no matter what your beliefs, I pray that you try and live the following words,  And I also pray that something I have said, say or will say, will one day bring you to our own relationship with God. 
^"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. "  Ephesians 4: 2-3

 

Quiet on the Blog front.

How can I have the need to say so many words in one day and yet have my blog be so quiet lately??

I guess I have just been enjoying my summer with the kids and catching up on "How I Met Your Mother."  Yes, I am a new addict to that show. 

My mom is coming for a visit tomorrow and Elijah told me today that tomorrow is "going to be the best day EVER!" Because Mawmaw Puppy will be here.  Could be that he knows she ALWAYS takes them to Chuck E Cheese. 

School starts up in 9 days.  How did that happen?  Summer flew right by.  Goodbye PJ lounging until 9 am.  Hello, crying, whining  and arguing over breakfast. 

Poor Levi is going to be so bored without anyone else here with him.  Guess we'll be able to plan more play dates.  Just me and the dude. 

Anyway, I don't have anything awesome to post about today, just wanted to say hi! 

Love and Respect

Do you ever have one of those days where you think to yourself :"Gee, I totally blew that!" ????

I do.  And it seems lately I have been having more of them.  I'm sure we could sit down and explore what has been going on in my life to find many reasons why that might be, but that would really just end up being an excuse.  A good one perhaps, but still. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about my role as a wife.  I desperately want to be a good one.  And it seems that I fail at it more often than not.  I snap at my husband when I'm tired.  I rarely give him my full attention and even when I don't mean to, I give him the feeling that I don't care about the things he cares about.  Is it a crazy cycle?  Yes. Does he do it to me as well?  Sure.  We're human and it happens.  But I want to be more deliberate in my actions as a wife.  I don't want to take Jason for granted.  He honors me in a way no one has before him.  I could go on and on about what makes him a great husband, terrific father and fantastic friend, but I might just save that for later. 

Love and Respect.  Powerful words made more powerful by action.  For most women, loving comes naturally.  It is built into the core of our being, to give it and to receive it.  We're nurturers as God and nature intended us to be.  That doesn't take away from or diminish our other abilities in anyway.  Ever heard of the Amazons?  We can be powerful warriors, corporate leaders, stay at home moms, teachers, professional athletes etc.  All of these things are amazing and we are capable of so much, but today I say why do we focus so much on that instead of our amazing ability to love? 

And men, they are built with a core need for respect and to respect.  That one can be hard for me.  What is respect?  The definition is as follows: 

Noun A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Verb Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Let's take a look at what admire means: Verb Regard (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval. Look at with pleasure Oh, man.  It's a VERB!  That means I have to DO IT, not just think it.  I have to act it out! And that is where the disconnect lies for me.  I do think that my husband is awesome.  He works hard for us, he takes time out for us and he enjoys being with us.  I know this by the way he acts every single day.  It's always in my head and yet, for as awesome as Jason is, he can not read my mind.  I need to be better about encouraging Jason, saying to him what I think.  That can be weird for me because I feel like Jason should know because of my acts of service.  Making dinner, cleaning the house etc  That is how I show love, because that is how I receive it.  But Jason, he shows love by words of affirmation because that's how he receives it.  Learning each others love languages is crucial.  What makes your husband feel loved and respected?  What makes you feel loved and respected?    I have found that while women need love and men need respect, that they are often so intertwined with each other that you get both!  I find it amazing that as a nation, we have such a huge industry that revolves around marriage.  And the best thing I can say is that God tells us the key in Ephesians 5: 33 " However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."  Say what?  God commands men to love their wives because they need it.  And women to respect their husbands because they need it.  I'm thankful we live in a society that does have people who care and are willing to help us figure out how to do that when we can't seem to help ourselves.    So I guess the question I have been asking myself is how can I respect my husband in a way he can receive it?  I'll be thinking about that and trying to act out my love for Jason in respectful ways!    Care to join me?  Let's start a respect revolution.    A wise man once said:  "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."  - Martin Luther

Rest Assured

I have been slacking lately.  Not sure why.  I just haven't been motivated to write.  So today, I thought I would share my devotional journal entry.  Maybe it will  mean something important to someone out there. 

 

S: Isaiah 12:1-2
In that day you will say:
“I will praise you, LORD.
Although you were angry with me,
... your anger has turned away
and you have comforted me.
2 Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense;
     he has become my salvation.”
O: Yes, we have angered God and been disciplined by him. His anger has been turned away by Jesus' crucifixion. Therefore, He is our salvation.
A: I need to learn the 2nd part of verse 2. "I will trust and not be afraid...the Lord is my strength and my song." People often tell me after hearing my testimony "you're so strong" "I couldn't have survived that" etc. The truth is, I didn't. I didn't do it on my own. God granted me supernatural power, strength, and perseverance. And he place wonderful counselors, friends and family in my path.
P: Father,
I believe in miracles. I live with one every single day. I believe in your mighty strength. I'm sorry that I make you small enough to fit into my understanding. I limit you in my own ability to understand. Lord, let me be brave and courageous and know your power, grace, and love are beyond my comprehension. Let me be humble and full of Thanksgiving for all you have blessed me with in my life. Please allow my blind eyes to be opened to see that you care about every single detail of my life and not just the big stuff. Surely, God, you are my salvation. I want to trust and not be afraid. Help me to bless others today, tomorrow and always for your glory, not my own. Amen

Summer time!

Kids are finally out of school!  YAY!  We have been enjoying our first week out and the kids are mad that Daddy isn't on summer vacation too! 

We have so much going on this summer.  But our main hurdle is Ava's surgery July 16th.  She's having her tonsils out with the hopes that Strep will stay far away from her. 

One of my besties is moving to the east coast in August and I am so excited to see her.  I simply can't wait!  Hi Cassondra!!!!!! 

I am hoping to make it to South Carolina this summer to see my sister, but I think that is probably a pipe dream.  Sigh.  Timing, among other issues, is always an issue. 

This is a pretty rambling blog, with no real point.  I just haven't been on in a while. 

I just want to encourage everyone to keep praying and to know that relief, success, joy...it's all around the next bend.  Stand firm! 

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."  Heb 11:1

Summer is often a time of renewal and happiness for many, but we all still have our struggles.  Keep the faith y'all! And enjoy some pictures....

Battlefield of the Mind

How on earth has it possibly been a month since I have posted.  I must be the worlds worst blogger.  In that time I have had brilliant ideas for blogs.  Did I write them down?  No, No I did not.  *insert sigh here.* 

There seems to be so much going on all the time and yet at the same time, nothing life changing.  Each day kind of blends into the next.  I'm enjoying my kids and can NOT wait for summer vacation!  14 days and we are free for summer!  YAY!!

When I think of seasons, I always think of spring as a time of renewal.  Look at all the beautiful flowers popping up, we've planted a vegetable garden and we have so much green to enjoy.  And yet, I can't help but feel my spiritual life is stagnating.  Does it just feel that way?  Am I doing something that is making me feel that way?  I recently was reminded that God requires our cooperation, but he tells us in his word, in Philippians 1:6 "⁶ being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Sometimes I doubt my "savedness."  I don't think that is a word, so you're welcome.  But this is the thing, I know that I know that I know, I accepted Jesus when I was 11 years old, it was amazing.  It was sad, scary and all together joyful and lovely.  Sad because of facing my sins and repenting (breaking my heart for what breaks His) scary because, man, he asks me to do a lot of things I simply do not want to do.  Joyful and lovely due to His peace.  His hope. His love.  His Grace.

So with all of that, my heart was on fire.  This girl was on fire.  (please, please, if you love me, you will SING that line) But then, the fire faded, was dampened, until only a smoldering mess was left.  In the worlds eye, I was a pretty "good" person.  I was in the Army, I took care of myself, I was smart, savvy, capable, strong and disciplined.  But oh I knew what I was really like.  And I thought constantly "How can anyone love me?" 

And I realize during this sleepy, hibernating spring that what is tamping my flame down is the lie of the enemy.  How many times must I fall for the same tricks of the deceiver?  He always hits me where it hurts.  He knows just which key to turn or button to push. He makes me think "maybe God can't love me and I've done so much wrong, he would certainly not extend his salvation, love and grace to me!" He hits me in my esteem.  My self worth, my "how can anyone love me" heart.

So what is it that you may be struggling with?  What lie of this world, this society, this deceiver are you believing?  Recognize it for the lie that it is. 

I feel like Stuart Smalley, but I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me!  More importantly, God loves me. 

I need to pick up my Shield of Faith and get the battle on.  I can assure you, and myself , that nothing will feel stagnate in the heat of the battle.  And perhaps, that is why I am stagnating in the first place...Life is so full of ups and downs, so much trauma, drama and just exhausting days that maybe I have been "sitting" myself on the sidelines of the battlefield.  Maybe I have been watching the chaos and not wanting to be involved. 

The truth is this : War effects us all, even if we aren't in the combat zone.  Having been a Soldier and being married to a Sailor, one would think I would be better at remembering that.  There is a price for being a believer in this time and space.  And just likes taxes, I can't avoid it. 

Ironically, while writing this, I went online to do some reading and as I was reading today's devotional on Gospel.com, It has been affirmed that this is indeed what God was saying to me...check this out (an excerpt from the devotional):

"One of the paradoxes of Christianity is that, while our faith is centered around sharing Christlike love and peace, our private spiritual lives are vividly likened to a battleground. Warfare and battle are apt metaphors for our constant struggle to resist temptation and remain committed to the principles of the Bible.
What does this “spiritual war” look like in our lives, and how does it manifest? More importantly, how do we make sure we win this war? In a short devotional essay on spiritual war, Al Menconi explains where this spiritual warfare takes place… and lays out a battle plan for victory. Menconi believes that our minds are the ground zero of this spiritual war, and that we’re particularly vulnerable to spiritual attacks that come at us through the entertainment we absorb": (here is the link to the whole thing: http://www.gospel.com/blog/index.php/2010/08/26/todays-devotional-winning-the-spiritual-war-in-our-minds/ )
I fight a deceiving, sneaky and brilliant enemy.  I need to remind myself of that.  Even God tells me through Paul in 2 Cor 10: 13 "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does."

I guess all I am really saying, is The God of Angel Armies is a friend of mine.  And I'd do well not to forget it. 

Better living through Laughter!

Day 6.  Something I hope I never have to do. 

Well, my biggest fear was realized 7 years ago.  Burying your child is just not right.  It's not in the natural order of things.  I pray that I never have to do that again.  I'd love to NEVER have to attend a child's funeral EVER again anywhere.  It sucks.  It's wrong.  It's confusing.  It's unfair.  It's also part of life.  A sucky one, but it's there.  I could have chosen to go a different route with this Truth with Trish, but it is the bitter truth.  However, because I can, I am going to end this blog with some funnier, lighter things, ALSO very much me.  Laughter is such a balm to a soul experiencing sorrow. 

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the Human face".  Victor Hugo

Let's prepare for spring and summer!!

Trish's Top 10 I don't want to do it list *subject to change on any given day!

10.  Go through Labor, ever again.
09.  Accidentally stick my hand in baby poop during a diaper check. 
08.  Potty train.  (Levi is going to teach himself, right???)
07.  Wash dishes
06.  Comb head lice out of Ava's hair.  Ever.  Or mine, or Tessa's...the boys will just get a shave if it  happens to them. 
05.  Mop.  Or sweep.  What is it with these chores I can not stand?  Please never look at my floors when you visit.
04.  Write term papers.  Seriously.  They exist only to torture people.
03.  Talk on the phone to the insurance company.  Ok, so this happens frequently in my life, but I still don't WANT to do it!
02.  Live without electricity.  I love my air conditioner.  I love my TV.  I love my computer.  I love that God created me in this time. 
01.  Wear granny panties....uh oh.  It may be too late to save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Don't you judge me.  They are comfy. 

Well, there you have it.  More information about me you didn't want to know, but will now have it burned into your brain forever.  You are welcome friend!