Oh Facebook! You shouldn't have...no, really!

I love Facebook.  Love it.  Even with some of the drama that comes along with it.  For me, as a military spouse, it's a fantastic way to stay in touch with friends and family we leave all around the world.  But even if I weren't military, it's pretty awesome for keeping in touch with all the people of my youth. 

So let me list a few of the things I love about Facebook:
1) Helps me keep my sanity some days
2) I love all the pictures I get to see of my friends and family
3) I actually like knowing what my friends and family are thinking randomly on a daily basis.
4) Getting to share news quickly
5) All the funny ecards etc


Here is what I don't love about Facebook...and it actually has nothing to do with Facebook the corporation. 

Facebook is the Passive Aggressive person's best friend.  Does it make it ok to say something like "nobody cares" etc if you put a smiley face behind it?  Ok, in some cases that person saying it IS someones best friend or sister or IS joking.  But too many people are just rude, mean, facetious etc because they  hide behind their computer. 

Why am I blogging this?  Well.  Dear friends, I recently had an issue.  When people do this on my page, I generally ignore it, delete the comment or private message the person if it offended me, hurt my feelings or I deem it otherwise inappropriate.  Grown up of me, huh?  I can be mature...sometimes. 

Having said that, a person I am not even sure why I was friends with them in the first place...another blog for another time: Facebook Friending- Ettiquette?  Anywhooooo, I digress.  Said person made multiple snarky comments to a mutual friend and then would whine on her statuses (rudely and pointedly) to make said person and others feel guilty/shamed etc.  Those of you who REALLY know me....Yes, I did finally say something.  I said that I had some advice that she could take or leave, but that if she really needed help, maybe she should watch the tone she takes on FB.  And then I actually addressed her problem and gave her some resources. 

Fast forward 20 minutes and her status pops up in my newsfeed about how people should take their negative and mean comments elsewhere as people don't know the backstory of a post etc. and she had deleted her previous rude status. To her new status I replied "I assume you are talking about me and that's ok.  However, I did not say anything negative or mean, but seeing has how this IS FB, this post could have NOTHING to do with me at all." Which she promptly deleted. 

It actually really irritated me.  So much so that I went back and forth on messaging her and fully unloading.  But I did not.  I simply unfriended her.    Why does this bug me so badly?  The fact that she anonymously said untrue things about me or the fact that she feels she can be blatantly mean, hateful and rude on FB?  Probably a little of both.  Maybe it has to do with the fact that I do know her backstory and she is simply trolling for people to give to her no questions asked.  Is she in need?  Yes.  She is, but I know why people aren't helping her.  That attitude.  AGH!  I am trying not to get snotty or rude, but man it has been hard.  And if I am being honest with myself and by virtue then with you...a light bulb just went on in my head and I think I know what the root of the issue is...

The person of which I speak is pregnant and she is having a hard time.  She was put on bed rest and generally ignores it when it suits her, whines about the lack of help when it doesn't.  I offered her my advice on many occasions before this, as I DO have some experience in this arena.  And therein lies the deepest issue for me, I suppose.  I have lost a baby, and spent 12 weeks on bed rest with Tessa and Elijah...I can't imagine doing anything that would jeopardize my unborn baby or their safety.  I know some people may think I am being harsh and maybe she just doesn't have anyone to help her and that's ok.  My life experience is different and I tend to have very strong, very rapid, very intense emotions on this. 

So thanks, blog friends for letting me write through why this, in particular, really bugged me.

Just do me a favor, eh?  If I somehow offend you, hurt your feelings or otherwise upset you on Facebook, message me.  Chances are I am CLUELESS that what I said came off wrong.  Oh, also, live by my motto:

"Never say something behind someones back that you won't say to their face."

And in this case, I will alter it "Never say something on Facebook that you wouldn't say to their face in real life."

Post away friends, post on!