On a Quest to Thrive

I love my kids.  From the top of my head to the toes on my feet, from the bottom of my heart...I love them with my whole being.  And as much as I love them, I am ashamed to admit that I want to know at what point will I truly ENJOY them more?  Yes, I enjoy things they say and do.  But most of my days feel like an endless cycle on the wheel of whining and crying and fighting and snotting and disobedience...I could go on and on and on.  The point remains, I'm constantly hearing about how enjoyable people find their kids and I see moms out who seem to really and truly be enjoying their kids.  Maybe I am that mom sometimes, but lately, I just feel worn out.  Run down.  Defeated in Motherhood. 

When will I look forward to sitting down as a family to dinner?  And not be frustrated amidst the whining and the "I don't like/want this" cries?   When will I truly look forward to taking someone shopping for clothes? Toys?  Books?  To the movies?

Don't get me wrong, my  kids make me smile everyday.  Elijah just made me grin in the midst of writing this, "Mom, I'm done" That's my cue for wiping his butt, FYI.  So I did.  And as I'm washing my hands, I'm watching him pull up his pants and listening to him chatter.  Warmed my heart and made me smile...

But I want to do more than survive this stage.  I want to thrive. 

Definition of THRIVE

intransitive verb

1

: to grow vigorously : flourish

2

: to gain in wealth or possessions : prosper

3

: to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances —often used with on <thrives on conflict>

 

Who doesn't want the above in relation to parenting?  Doesn't it sound awesome?  God knows that having young will be hard work and require blood, sweat and tears.  Countless hours of agonizing over whether I am making the right decision and so on.  But he also tells me this:

 

 "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."  Isaiah 40:11

 

Maybe I am just too hard on myself, or expect things to be different. Or maybe I'm just tired today. Or maybe I am missing some important part of my mom "DNA."  I'm sure if I asked it would be a 50/50 split down the middle on the answers I receive.  Please keep in mind, I haven't asked...LOL. 

 

I have faith that my kids will grow up to be Godly, people of Integrity and character.  I just wish I was better at enjoying the journey.