Debbie Downer must die!

Ok, ok, so that may be a little dramatic.  But I feel like a Debbie Downer.  Or a Witchy Wanda or Groaning Gail or maybe a Miserable Mindy.  Whatever, pick a name.  At some point in the last week these have ALL fit me. 

I am trying to remember that I had an equally hard time adjusting to California.  The people here tend to stick to themselves A LOT.  Which is hard for me.  There are groups and cliques and gossip mongers.  Yes, I realize these are EVERYWHERE, but I am trying to find out where we belong here. 

I am desperate for a girlfriend that can come over and drink tea (ha-diet coke if you know me!) and have a playdate.  I just need someone (other than my awesome husband) that is an adult that I can talk to...

I try to text and call Cali, but it seems every time I have an opportunity, it's not a good time there.  Darn you 3 hour time difference!!

The longer it takes to find a church the more I can feel myself getting crabby and withdrawn and I hate it.  I need to be surrounded by other people of God.  I miss the community of Newbreak.  I miss my peeps.  Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Maybe I should have also said a crying Cathy???

Please PLEASE keep praying that we find a new church home soon.  And a friend.  Friends for my kids (which I know they will make when school starts) friends for Jason.  I stink at discernment and boy, that would be a helpful gift to have when picking out a new church.  Gosh, we've been so lucky in Ohio and California on quickly finding a church home. 

I'm also sad because Jason works so much.  Yes, I know the life of PAO, Been there.  Done that.  But man, it's harder when you're the one at home with 4 kids wishing you could 1) spend time with your husband and 2) give your husband the kids and get out of the house.  But 2 never happens, cause 1 is more important.   I also think it's stressful because I don't know that Jason really gets how stressful it is to be constantly with the kids. I know he gets how much a handful they can be, annoying, whining, fussy, messy fighting creatures...but it's the constant mental and physical toll of being the main parent 24/7 .  It's such an effort to get out of the house with all 4 kids, I feel home bound some days.  Of course, there isn't as much to do here and no one to go with...

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? ...

I kind feel like a need a "two."

But then I think of God's word to me so often in my life:

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.   Jeremiah 29:11

Thanks for letting me mope a bit.  I miss you all.