Get rid of the shame.

It was an absolutely beautiful day here today.  We went to La Jolla Shores and just had fun.  Jason surfed for a little bit.  The kids ran in and out of the freezing cold water.  It was just a great day.  Came home, made tortellini for dinner.  Showered, the kids got to watch a movie in bed to relax because they were so good today! 

We're still in our "Knights and Fair Maidens" sermon series at church.  And as usual Pastor Mike rocked it!  I'll admit, I can still be kind of like a 12 year old when sex is mentioned in such a setting.  Like I don't know what it is...the urge to wiggle in my seat and go "la la la I can't hear you."  But luckily, Pastor Mike took care of that in the beginning.  Nothing like saying "God loves sex" out loud with all your other church goers to get the awkwardness gone.  LOL!!

The biblical concept of sex is awesome.  I think as a society, we are really doing our kids a disservice with what our tv shows, songs, etc are teaching them.  Sex is a beautiful gift.  It's not a prize, it's not a method of controlling someone, it's not something with which we should earn some one's affection...

I know what it's like to think sex makes you lovable.  It doesn't.  Sex is NOT love.  And sex outside the confines of the committed relationship always hurts someone.  Always.  And I don't even mean the physical issues.  Emotionally, someone will be hurt.  Even if they don't figure it out for years. 

I know I don't want my children to grow up thinking that sex is bad or shameful.  I also don't want them growing up think sex is a free for all.  I pray that my children don't feel that their self worth is in anyway connected to having sex.  Whether it be that they can "get lots of it" or not or whether lots of people want to have it with them or not.  I want them to know that the giving of your body is a gift.  A gift you share in love and I pray that it's something they do inside the confines of marriage. 

I have friends that waited until they were married and they have (as a general rule) much better sex lives.  They don't have all that baggage that comes with sex with other people.  As with all things in life, I pray that my kids make better choices than me all around.  Most particularly in this instance. 

Which brings me to my next thought.  We were singing a song in church today and a verse hit me so hard and then the Pastor stopped and read it out loud as well.  It is as follows:

"Let no one caught in sin remain inside the lie of inward shame."  Christ is Risen by Matt Maher.

And this my friends, hits me in the most powerful way.  How much time do we spend living in the shame of our sins?  Our mistakes?  Our bad choices?  As a Christ follower, I get to experience the power of God's grace.  Now, for me, LETTING myself experience is my problem.  I most certainly believe that God is able and willing to forgive me.  But I have to give myself permission to experience it.  I have a tendency to live "inside the lie of inward shame."   And I am here to say it is A LIE.  A lie from the enemy of my soul. 

I am forgivable.  I am lovable.  I am worthy. 

That nasty little voice in your head...it's not God.  God  loves us and even in his anger over our sin, our brokenness, he forgives.  He loves.  He's absolutely our biggest fan.  He wants us to succeed in spite of ourselves.  So the next time you feel that shame or regret of something in your past, just remember that if you asked for God's forgiveness, it's as if your slate is white as fresh fallen snow.  We won't forget it, but it no longer has any hold on us. 

Your sin, your brokenness, it's your testimony.  We don't have to be proud of our history, but God wants us to use it to show others that he is BIG.  God is GREAT.  He can and will forgive us if we just ask.  And he is telling us, that we're free. Free from the consequence of our sins (death) and free from the shame.  Jesus came and died for us, so that we could be free!  What will you do today with the freedom that the blood of the innocent one bought you? 

For me, today, just today I am going to tell the shame to take a hike.  And then I'll try and do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next...and so on and so forth.   One thing is for certain, being a Christian doesn't make me better.  It doesn't make my life easier.  I struggle with the same things everyone else does.  I just hope that someone, somewhere will see me and the life I try and live, and realize that God loves them in the midst of their mess.  Not just when they have their life "together." 

Join me in my messiness.  If he loves me (and he does!!) he will certainly love you!!